Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
