Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
