Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
