? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
