omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
