doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
