some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
