i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I should be sponsored by Trojan
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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