I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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