stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
