she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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