dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
