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i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
