Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
