fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Randomize
