i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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