Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
