Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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