help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
