My first STD was from a foam party
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
