You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
