There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
