i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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