That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
