I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
