and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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