his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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