Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
