i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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