She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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