Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
