hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
