She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
