He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
