dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
