Apparently you make a good broom.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
