grandma shit on top of the toilet
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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