laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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