Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
They took my balls.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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