I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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