Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
