yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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