So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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