we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just puked most of my soul out..
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