Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
whose ass print is on the piano?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
