Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
