It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
