Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
