what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
