Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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