no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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